Joe Paterno and Penn State

It's sad to see the lack of perspective and ensuing riots taking place over at my alma mater. As an alum, I can recognize how very revered Joe Paterno was to that school, it's alumni and the student body. He was more than a man and in some cases like a god. Imagine...to find out that your god is corrupt and to realize everything he stood for has to now come in to question. I suppose for an 18-21 year old it's much easier to grasp on to the "right" things he did rather than the right things he should have done.

The Board of Trustees did what was necessary and in the end what was right. I am proud of them for standing up for something that is bigger than Joe Paterno and his legacy. Truth be told, I suggested that the season be forfeited. No matter what, the Penn State football team already lost. They are a part of history. If anything, they can take a lesson from this. Life isn't fair. Their lost season is nothing in comparison to the real victims.

Life first, games second.

Thankfully the road to redemption can finally take place at Penn State. It will take a while, but it will happen and I'll still cheer...We are.

The Proposal

The Proposal

Have you ever seen the movie Say Anything?


It's an 80's flick. A romantic-comedy with a young John Cusack starring as lovable underdog, Lloyd Dobler. The guy with no chance vying to win the heart of a girl way out of his league. Pretty classic story actually. It's mostly known for its iconic scene when Lloyd stands outside his crush's bedroom window holding a boom-box over his head while it plays Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

Brilliant piece of work. Brilliant I tell you.

Lloyd won the girl's heart alright. As well as the hearts of millions of girls across America. One of them belonging to a very young Rebecca Sussman.

It would become an instant classic in her mind with the infamous boom-box scene immortalizing itself as a framed poster on her bedroom wall in her parent's house.

A full generation after it's inception, Becca and I would meet at an On-In one Wednesday evening after a Hash. We went on a few dates, became BF/GF and I would eventually come to realize the great deal this film meant to her. When some 18 months later it came time for me to decide how I would propose, it should have been obvious, but the idea didn't dawn on me until only a month or so before it actually happened: Benjamin Leong would be Lloyd Dobler.

How exactly?

Well location was the one thing I needed to figure out. I thought maybe, her parents' house - outside her bedroom window? At the Brooklyn Promenade - one of the first places we went to to take pictures? Central Park? Prospect Park? The possibilities were endless and also very brain racking.

May 13, 2010
I ended up deciding on a brand new park in the city: Brooklyn Bridge Park. We could have a picnic I thought. One day after work perhaps. Neither of us had ever been there, so there was the chance it would be an epic failure, but reviews were good and I knew Becca wanted to see it based on her reaction from our view driving over it on the Brooklyn Bridge. It could work, I think. She loves picnics. And she loves the park!

Once I decided on this, I quickly made a reservation at the Mariott at Brooklyn Bridge for the night of May 21, 2010. A friday night. I figured it'd be a nice surprise for afterward (assuming she said "yes" of course.) If the plan were to change, I could cancel at anytime until 24 hours before, but I wanted to give myself some time. I'd need it if I wanted to formulate a plan to get Becca to the park without her being suspicious.

Prior to all this, I've been dropping subtle hints, like "we haven't taken pictures in a while", trying to get her to come to the Promenade - but without as much as a bite.

Before I tell you about my Oscar Award worthy effort, let's rewind one week before The Proposal.

May 15, 2010

Becca and I were in Cherry Hill, NJ. We'd just finished a 5K Mud Run down in Titusville (see pics here) and are now on our way to track down a Cookie Cake for Louis W's 30th BDay later that evening. Our search brought us to the Cherry Hill Mall, which unbeknown to me had been completely renovated since the last time I'd been there. Long story short, old CHM had a Cookie Cake kiosk. New CHM did not. FAIL.

This would not deter our search however. After thinking through our next course of action, we hop back in the car and make our way to what could have very well decided my "set-up".

It all happened, innocently enough, at an intersection of that very same mall parking lot. Yes I said parking lot. By accident, as I was making a left, another vehicle opposite me was crossing it.

We collided. Metal was scraped. Headlights were crunched. Eyes were onlooked.

And while the damage wasn't awful, it was enough to make us rethink our birthday plans.

May 17, 2010
Once we realize that the cost of fixing my car would set us back a bit, Becca thought it would be best if we didn't do anything too expensive for our birthdays. And with that I had my opening. I suggested we have a picnic at Brooklyn Bridge Park. "We can take pictures." I say.

"Okay!" She says with excitement.

She had no idea. We set our picnic date for Friday, May 21st, one day after my birthday and seven days before hers.

And now we wait.

May 21, 2010
The day had arrived. I had scheduled with my office to take a personal day, but with Becca under the assumption that it's a regular Friday, I had to take every step in my normal day to make it seem like it was. Getting up at 5:45 am. Showering. Getting dressed. I even went so far as to schedule my cell phone to *beep* at 6:42am, 6:50am, and 6:55am. These *beeps* were supposed to mimic the text messages my fellow car-pooler, Mara P, sends me to alert me that they are on their way and of their relative proximity.

Come 7:00am, Becca and I are walking outside of our apartment building together. Becca, being the sweetheart she is, decides to wait with me for a carpool that would never be arriving.

Hmm.

Quickly, I look at my phone and say to Becca, "Ohhh they're getting gas, so they're going to be a little late. You don't have to stay."

Her face hints of sadness.

I resist the urge to tell her to stay and watch her walk down the block, making her way to the subway station. Once she turns the corner, I immediately run back inside and get to work.

7:30am
First task: Bring in the Laundry. As you know, Becs doesn't know about the room at the Mariott tonight, so I need to pack her an overnight bag...only I don't know what to pack, so I just think, "bring everything!" Brilliant.

8:00am
Once I took care of the laundry, I get started on the next task: Frame and Hang New Pictures of Becca and Benjamin. See, shortly after Becca and I decided to co-habitate, we did some redecorating, bought some new furniture, painted. Basically we turned my old bachelor pad into a place that was a little warmer and something we could call our own. The only thing we didn't have was pictures. Our new place had the most barren walls ever.

Assuming this all went to plan, I wanted Becca to come home to a nice clean apartment as well as one with some new pictures. So I hand picked some pics of us I had on my HD, printed them on some sweet metallic paper and framed them using some old 11" x 14" and 8" x 10" frames.

12:30pm
Throughout the day, I would have to keep the ruse going by sending Becca IMs pretending I was at the office. In one conversation, she mentioned that she wanted to come home after work first so she could get changed and that then we could go to the park together when I got home a little later. Of course if she saw the apartment all jazzed up, it would ruin the whole plan!

I had to convince her that I was able to come home early due to another car-pooler's doctor's appointment and that I could simply meet her at the park shortly after she got out of work.

Eventually she went with it and said she'd meet me there.

Phew.

Now between trimming the pictures, placing them in the frames, and hanging them, I had used a little more of the day than I wanted to. I knew time was running short, but figured I still had plenty of time to pick up the laundry, get the boom-box from my cousin Lyndon, get all the picnic stuff and make my way over to the park. I wanted to get there before Becca so I could set up. I still had no real plan for what would occur once I got there. All that mattered at that point was, we were to meet at 4:00, so time was definitely running short.

2:00pm
Things were getting done, but it literally feels like it's a race against the clock. Pics are done and the apartment is clean. The laundry bag and boom-box are in the back of the truck. I'd just gotten back from Rite-Aid with 10 C batteries am about to put them in. Crap.

The batteries...are too small.

Panic.

I think to myself, I was not fast enough. There is not enough time. She's going to get there before you. What will you do? Do you change the plan? Maybe you do it at home. You fool! You haven't even burned the CD yet!! Or got the picnic items!! You'll have to get flowers if you do it at home. What do you do? What do you do?!?!?!!

Take a breath.

After a quick moment of self-composure, I decide. Keep going. Stick with the plan. Do it, man!!

I go back to the apartment and burn the CD, to the local grocery store to get some meats and cheeses, to the liquor store for some white wine and finally back to Rite Aid for the correct size D batteries. 

2:50pm
Point of no return.

To make sure Becs doesn't make her way back to the apartment I text her that I "got the picnic stuff." Already under the assumption that I've come home early, I give her the impression that I've gotten the stuff already and am on my way to the park.

3:30pm
Traffic. Lots and lots of traffic. No really, it was a ton. I am very late. Becca calls and lets me know she is on her way to the park. Between all the traffic and the time it would take to check in, she would definitely get there before me. And not that I need things to get any more difficult, but as I near the hotel, my GPS device reroutes me to another location entirely. I'm about 10 blocks out of the way before I realize this.

4:10pm
After finally getting to the hotel, I check in and frantically bring some items up to the room. I'm in such a frenzied mood that I somehow manage to forget something three separate times back in the room when I'm trying to make my way to the park.

Super panic mode now.

Time is already expired, I just need to get to the park. Becca, the poor girl, who I'd forced to go to the park alone, is now by herself in the hot sun. She calls and tells me that she doesn't want to take pictures anymore because she feels sweaty and gross. This was a HUGE let down and basically the icing on my fail cake.

Part of my plan, see, was to use the tripod so we could "take pictures." But I'd actually be filming my proposal.


Now I am upset. Hugely. I wasn't coming through on the most important day in my life.
I keep going though and after the 3rd trip up to the hotel room, I manage to get everything I needed (minus the tripod but with the camcorder) and let Becca know her hero was finally on his way.

4:20pm
Despite the hotel only being a few blocks from the Brooklyn Bridge, BK Bridge Park I would come to realize, was a good 15-20 minute walk away. Ugh. So there I was, lugging a 40 something pound boom-box and two large shopping bags, one with meats, cheeses, and wine, the other with the trench coat and blanket. I was hot and sweaty myself. Agitated that this plan I had devised, now needed to be rethought up, I began my walk and got to thinking.

Would I walk into the park with the complete ensemble? Who would film me? I'd never been to this park before, so how would I even know where she was?
This thought process went on for the whole 20 minutes it took me to get there.

I walked in, not knowing where she'd be. As soon as I enter...

there she was. She was on her cell, but walking right towards me.

I did not anticipate this.

She saw me too and gave me a smiling look of bewilderment. Me in my white high tops, gray sweatpants and plain white tee. I assumed she was questioning why I was wearing this on a day we were supposed to be taking pictures.

"What? I wanted to be comfortable." I say preemptively. I continued, "The boom-box is in case we want to listen to music."

"Okay." She says.

Oddly enough, the panic I felt, all the doubt, the massive amount of stress; it all went away as soon as I saw Becca. It's a cheesy thing to say, but it's absolutely true. She has the tendency to make my worries melt away.

Actually - I was worried about one thing. In addition to the boom-box and picnic accessories and my wearing some seriously casual gear, I had this large "box" shaped form protruding from my side pocket. I was worried she knew.

We spread out the blanket and get to picnicking. Oh. Did I mention I forgot the cork screw? No surprise there, right?
So we just chat and enjoy some cheese and crackers and enjoy this beautiful view that is before us. She mentions that she's no longer not in the mood to take pictures.

:-)

We sit. I scan. I'm scanning for trustworthy looking strangers. My new plan? Find someone to "take a picture" of us. Have him film the whole thing.

We continue to relax for a bit but after 20-30 minutes of mindless chatting and cheese and crackers, I sense Becca's had enough.

Inner voice, "Time's running out dude!!" 

So I say, "Let's take a picture before we go."

"Okay." She says.

I get up and walk to a couple with their dog behind us, about 30 feet away.

"Hi. I'm really sorry to bother you guys."

"No problem." They assure me.

"Would you mind taking a picture of me and my girlfriend with the skyline behind us?"

"Sure!" the mans says getting up.

"Actually." I say. "You're going to film me proposing to her."

I sense there's glee in their gasps and emotions. Sweet.

So I give the man the camera and tell him to roll when ready.

Becca gets up getting ready to take a picture. I make my way over and grab the trench coat that's been sitting in the bag.

"Are you cold"? I ask. "Do you want this?"

"No." She replies.

"Okay, well I'm going to put it on then."

She's confused of course. My next move is even more bewildering. I go to the boom-box sitting on the ground and hit PLAY.
Nothing. I think the disc begins spinning, but the 0:00 play time doesn't move to 0:01, 0:02, 0:03...

Epic PANIC.

I hit play again, nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Crap.

Becca getting fairly irritated now, slaps my arm. "What are you doing??"

"Sorry." She says to our camera/video man.

"It's okay," he says. "Take your time."

"Sorry." I say in frustration.

I don't realize it at the time, but PLAY and STOP button share the same button, so all my pushing is not an effective solution.
Becca's had enough. I've had enough.

I grab the boom-box.I don't go to pose with her to take a picture, I pick up the boom-box and lift it over my head.
Becca looks at me at first confused...but not for long.

There it is. The image from her favorite movie, the one that's captured as a poster on her old bedroom wall. It hits her instantly.
I tell you, the realization. The transform in her face. Going from confusion to OMG instantly. It was a beautiful thing.

Then more. She realizes she's being filmed because this man is holding up a camera. He's aiming at both of us.

Now it's Becca's turn to panic.

Becca backs away slightly. "Do you know him?" She says shaking.

I take her hand. Kiss her and give her a hug, telling her that I love her.

Once I realize she isn't going to run away, I let go, and get on one knee, and I ask...

"Will you marry me?"

check the answer out here: 

i respect you miss america...

no, for real, i do. and you too young spelling bee contestant, and yes this includes you american idol dreamer, yup this also goes out to you locally televised high-school basketball pre-game auditorium star-spangled banner singer, and of course, how could i forget you, pub-hopping, sports-trivia, beer-money, answerer? well, i can't forget because i'm one of you cotdamit!!

well, at least the latter of the lot, that is...

yes it's true, in the friendly confines of midtown east's Overlook, Becca and a night-long session of free miller lite drafts accompanied me in front of some LCA...that's what we hollywood types call "lights, camera, action." sike...i just made that up.

anyway....

the premise is, you go in front of a camera with a host, in this case SNY's very own Chris Carlin, will ask you a series of questions about sports. the first being the easiest, earns you $10, while each successive question is supposedly more difficult and earns you more cash. the ultimate prize is like $100 or something. anyway, Bec convinces me to participate and sign up.

the first contestant is up and i watch in amazement as two cameramen aim their spot light mounted cameras at him and begin filming. guy chooses the Nets as his team of choice and to the delightment of his entourage, answers the first question correctly. ditto second. same third. bam, guy is $130 dollars richer.

"WOOT!!!"

that seemed easy...'cept for the fact that i didn't know shit about the Nets and thus had no idea what any of the answers were.

luckily we could choose our favorite sports team to answer questions about.

2nd guy chooses the Mets as his team of choice....a little bit more within my knowledge base.

"what number does Jose Reyes wear?" Carlin asks.

"seven." I whisper to Bec.

"one." the guy answers, to be followed by immediate "WHAT???s" of shock.

guy walks away with his head down.

"dude, you choked just like your stupid mets," I told him.

...

okay, i didn't say the "just like your stupid mets" part...thought about it though. anyway, mets fan's stage fright would be somewhat contagious, it would seem.

...

i'd like to think that given the opportunity, i could handle a small television spot with a relative amount of coolness and composure...check that, make that a small television spot, which is broadcasted by a regional sports network....that caters to the city's other baseball team.

...

"who's your favorite team?" one of the cameramen asks me as i step up to the stage.

"yanks." i say.

"mets?" he says.

"yanks...yankees." i correct him

Chris goes through the intro motions, "what's your name?", "where are you from?", yada-yada-yada...then he fires off:

"who was the starting pitcher for opening day in the 2008 season?"

i draw a blank. i look at the cameras. I look away quickly thinking, it wasn't pettite, hughes, joba, or kennedy.

"mike mussina." i say with a combo of authority and assuredness.

"THAT IS INCORRECT!!!" Chris says in return.

damn it.

"the correct answer is "Chien-Ming Wang," i think he muttered, you effing retard, but that was probably just me saying it to myself.

I wanted to go back for another chance.

negative.

so much for the easy question. yeah i froze. i should've went through the SP roster out loud. "well Chris, let's see...there Andy Pettitte, Phil Hughes, Joba Chamerlain, Ian Kennedy, Mike Mussina...annnnnnd...who was that other guy..."

"...ahh, yes. Chris, the starting pitcher on opening day of 2008 was chien-ming wang."

i was so bitter i muttered that that should've been a second question then walked off in disgust waving farewell to my audience.

...

You go miss america. World Peace it is.

the reconciliation

hello blank screen. how are you? it's really good to see you again. you look great! i know, i know...it's been a while. i've been meaning to get in touch, but the only time we could see each other was through myspace, and i dissolved that relationship months ago, so it was tough finding a place to meet up. i'm thrilled that you'll be around more often. i look forward to sharing my thoughts, rants & rambles, and epic stories with you. see you soon.

-bl