i respect you miss america...
no, for real, i do. and you too young spelling bee contestant, and yes this includes you american idol dreamer, yup this also goes out to you locally televised high-school basketball pre-game auditorium star-spangled banner singer, and of course, how could i forget you, pub-hopping, sports-trivia, beer-money, answerer? well, i can't forget because i'm one of you cotdamit!!
well, at least the latter of the lot, that is...
yes it's true, in the friendly confines of midtown east's Overlook, Becca and a night-long session of free miller lite drafts accompanied me in front of some LCA...that's what we hollywood types call "lights, camera, action." sike...i just made that up.
anyway....
the premise is, you go in front of a camera with a host, in this case SNY's very own Chris Carlin, will ask you a series of questions about sports. the first being the easiest, earns you $10, while each successive question is supposedly more difficult and earns you more cash. the ultimate prize is like $100 or something. anyway, Bec convinces me to participate and sign up.
the first contestant is up and i watch in amazement as two cameramen aim their spot light mounted cameras at him and begin filming. guy chooses the Nets as his team of choice and to the delightment of his entourage, answers the first question correctly. ditto second. same third. bam, guy is $130 dollars richer.
"WOOT!!!"
that seemed easy...'cept for the fact that i didn't know shit about the Nets and thus had no idea what any of the answers were.
luckily we could choose our favorite sports team to answer questions about.
2nd guy chooses the Mets as his team of choice....a little bit more within my knowledge base.
"what number does Jose Reyes wear?" Carlin asks.
"seven." I whisper to Bec.
"one." the guy answers, to be followed by immediate "WHAT???s" of shock.
guy walks away with his head down.
"dude, you choked just like your stupid mets," I told him.
...
okay, i didn't say the "just like your stupid mets" part...thought about it though. anyway, mets fan's stage fright would be somewhat contagious, it would seem.
...
i'd like to think that given the opportunity, i could handle a small television spot with a relative amount of coolness and composure...check that, make that a small television spot, which is broadcasted by a regional sports network....that caters to the city's other baseball team.
...
"who's your favorite team?" one of the cameramen asks me as i step up to the stage.
"yanks." i say.
"mets?" he says.
"yanks...yankees." i correct him
Chris goes through the intro motions, "what's your name?", "where are you from?", yada-yada-yada...then he fires off:
"who was the starting pitcher for opening day in the 2008 season?"
i draw a blank. i look at the cameras. I look away quickly thinking, it wasn't pettite, hughes, joba, or kennedy.
"mike mussina." i say with a combo of authority and assuredness.
"THAT IS INCORRECT!!!" Chris says in return.
damn it.
"the correct answer is "Chien-Ming Wang," i think he muttered, you effing retard, but that was probably just me saying it to myself.
I wanted to go back for another chance.
negative.
so much for the easy question. yeah i froze. i should've went through the SP roster out loud. "well Chris, let's see...there Andy Pettitte, Phil Hughes, Joba Chamerlain, Ian Kennedy, Mike Mussina...annnnnnd...who was that other guy..."
"...ahh, yes. Chris, the starting pitcher on opening day of 2008 was chien-ming wang."
i was so bitter i muttered that that should've been a second question then walked off in disgust waving farewell to my audience.
...
You go miss america. World Peace it is.